What Life Looks Like When You’re Child Free & 30s
What Life Looks Like When You're Child Free & 30s
My husband moved in with me 11 months after we started dating. One year later we were married. I had a lot of people as me if I was pregnant or if we got married "so quickly" because we wanted kids ASAP.
To their (mostly pleasant) surprise we were not pregnant and I had no plans to be pregnant anytime soon. We got married because we wanted to start our lives together. And we wanted to build a big, complex, rich life, before we had kids.
I'm 32, he's 36. I'm a trainer and business owner, he's in tech and a landlord, and together we own a short term rental.
Being in our 30s as a "DINK" (dual income/no kids) has allowed us to create a life I think would have been really difficult to mold if we jumped into baby making right away.
For starters, I'm self employed. If we had a family right away I think I would have felt pressure to find a job with a company that offered more stability and benefits. Right now we rely on my husbands employer for insurance & retirement matching. If we had kids I think I'd feel pressure to be able to provide the same in case something happened to his job.
We are also able to take big financial risks. In 2021 we purchased a large home (much larger than we needed for ourselves or could comfortably cover the costs of) to use a a short term rental. Starting this business and the debt we took on to do so would have been WILD to me with kids. But since it's just us we knew that if all failed we could cut back our overhead and get by until business improved. Fortunately it's doing well but owning a large home is expensive so most of our extra money still goes towards home improvements.
We're able to take better care of ourselves than we could with kids. Getting to the gym, going for walks, cooking, doctors appointments, PT, even massages, we can do these things regularly. There's literally nothing but our own poor time management holding us back from thriving and I can honestly say we still struggle with this. So I can only imagine it would be 100x harder with kids.
We also get so much quality time. Without needing childcare we can turn mundane errands into QT. We can go on as many date nights as we want. It's something we probably take for granted but spending time together is really easy.
We also get more time to ourselves with our friends. Having 7 nights a week to do what you want means you can spend time alone, time together, and time with friends.
I hope that by making the most of our child free years we can work on creating a life with our kids that still allows us to maintain our identities, both together and apart. And that we are laying the foundation to have more than a two income household to support our family.
#lemon8partner #lemon8diary #relationship #marriage #dink #childfree
It's interesting how many conversations revolve around having kids once you hit your 30s. I've found that choosing a child-free lifestyle isn't just about what you don't have, but about the incredible opportunities it opens up. It's a path that allows for a different kind of richness in life, one that we're truly embracing. One of the biggest perks for us has been the freedom to take financial risks that might otherwise feel daunting. Beyond our short-term rental, this means we can invest more aggressively in our businesses or even explore passion projects without the immediate pressure of supporting dependents. We've also been able to save significantly for retirement, giving us peace of mind for the future. It’s not just about spending, but about building a secure foundation that allows us flexibility and growth. For me, better self-care isn't just a luxury; it's a foundation. Having the time for regular gym sessions, meditative walks, or even just a quiet evening to read has been invaluable for my mental and physical well-being. My partner also gets to nurture his hobbies without guilt. These aren't just 'nice-to-haves' – they're essential for us to thrive, and I can only imagine how much harder it would be to consistently prioritize them with children. It's about having the bandwidth to truly fill your own cup. The article touched on turning mundane errands into quality time, and it's so true! A trip to the grocery store becomes a chance for a leisurely chat, or a drive to pick up dry cleaning turns into a mini-adventure with a coffee stop. But beyond that, we've invested heavily in our relationship. Regular date nights aren't a struggle; they're our norm. We can spontaneously book a weekend getaway or dedicate entire evenings to deep conversations. This undistracted time together truly strengthens our bond, and it's a huge part of why we love our child-free life. And then there's more socializing! We cherish our friendships. Being child-free means we have the flexibility to say 'yes' to last-minute plans, host dinner parties, or travel with friends. It allows us to nurture a diverse network, including those with kids and those without. We find joy in being 'the fun aunt and uncle' to our friends' children, getting to enjoy their company without the round-the-clock responsibility. It really highlights that community can be built in many ways, not just through parenthood. For anyone in their 30s with no kids, or even those who have a child and are curious about different paths, I hope sharing our journey offers a glimpse into one fulfilling way to live. This lifestyle isn't for everyone, and every choice has its trade-offs, but for us, it has meant building a life rich in experiences, personal growth, and deep connection. It’s about intentionally designing a life that aligns with our values and dreams, and I feel incredibly fortunate for the freedom and opportunities it affords us.
Can you make a post on the prep you guys did for the STR? ✨