In life, it’s often said that forgiving and forgetting is the key to peace and happiness. However, that’s not always the most realistic or healthy approach for everyone. From my personal experience, choosing not to forgive or forget can be a way of maintaining your boundaries and protecting your emotional health. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to condone what happened or erase your experiences. It’s more about finding peace in your own way. When someone hurts us deeply, it’s natural to resist forgetting the incident, as it serves as a reminder and a lesson. It’s important to recognize that choosing not to forgive, like the statement “I’m not God nor do I have Alzheimer’s, so unfortunately no I will not be forgiving & forgetting,” is a valid emotional response. This perspective validates feelings rather than suppressing them. In my journey, I learned that holding onto memories does not necessarily mean living with bitterness, but rather acknowledging your pain and granting yourself the time and space to heal authentically. This understanding has helped me prioritize self-care without feeling pressured to rush forgiveness. Setting these boundaries also helps in rebuilding trust carefully, if at all, and reinforces your self-respect. It’s a part of self-empowerment and knowing that forgiveness, when it comes, should be for your own growth and not because of external expectations. Therefore, if you’re struggling with someone’s actions and feel unable to forgive or forget, know that your feelings are valid. Take your time, focus on your well-being, and let forgiveness come on your terms, not by societal pressure.