Day 1: Make Me Over
I’ve recently been experiencing what feels like the worst days of my life. So much of my trauma and grief has just been pilling up and finally I have broken. My days have been filled with anxiety and depression, but finally I’ve broken and have nothing left to do but surrender.
My main focus now is to give all of my thoughts a place outside of my mind so I can sort through them accordingly while God rebuilds me according to his will.
This is my journey of me being honest and transparent through it all.
Yesterday I didn’t leave my bed. Didn’t eat or drink. But I also prayed, cried, journaled, and meditated because I refused to give up.
Today is my Day 1. I started my day with journaling and meditation, fed myself, and went for a walk. It feels good to keep your promises to self and this is the beginning to me making routines for myself.
Currently reading/listening to: 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think by Brianna Wiest
It’s incredible how life can throw us curveballs that leave us feeling utterly lost and broken. I know that feeling of trauma and grief piling up, making it seem impossible to take another step. But just like you, I've learned that sometimes, hitting that breaking point is actually the catalyst we need to finally surrender and start rebuilding. This journey isn't easy, but realizing 'Stop Suffering In Silence' is the first, brave step to healing. For anyone else out there feeling overwhelmed, remember that your 'Day 1' can look different, but the core is always about showing up for yourself. When you mention journaling, meditation, and even a simple walk, it resonates deeply. These aren't just activities; they are anchors in a stormy sea. Journaling, for instance, isn't just about writing down thoughts; it's about externalizing them, giving them space outside your mind so you can process them without judgment. I've found that simply putting pen to paper, or even typing out my stream of consciousness, helps untangle the knots in my head. Sometimes, I even write letters to my past self or future self, which offers incredible perspective. Meditation, for me, started with just five minutes of focusing on my breath. It felt awkward at first, but over time, it became a sanctuary, a moment to reset and find a quiet space within. You don't need to be an expert; just sitting still and observing your thoughts without attachment can be profoundly calming. And that walk you took? That's pure magic. Getting outside, feeling the sun, seeing the sky – it’s a gentle reminder that the world keeps moving, and so can you. Even on days when leaving the bed feels monumental, a short stroll can shift your perspective. Remember that quote, 'You can't be upset that people don't know because you didn't tell them'? It applies to ourselves too. We need to acknowledge our pain to begin addressing it. Beyond those amazing steps, I've also found comfort in simple routines. Maybe it's a warm cup of tea in the morning, listening to an album that speaks to your soul – like 'Who Is Jill Scott? Words And Sounds Vol. 1' (such a classic for soothing vibes!), or even just making sure to drink enough water. These tiny acts of self-care aren't frivolous; they're foundational to rebuilding your sense of self-worth and stability. Reading, as you mentioned with '101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think,' is another powerful tool. It offers new perspectives and reminds us that we're not alone in our struggles. It allows us to learn from others' journeys and find strategies that might work for us. Every small promise you keep to yourself, whether it's eating a meal or taking a walk, reinforces self-trust. Keep showing up for yourself, one 'Day 1' at a time. This journey of healing and growth is messy, beautiful, and absolutely worth every step, because you are worth rebuilding.
