Breakups and divorce are always hard. If the other person is reaching out, it can be even harder to resist going back to them. My ex bought me $1000 worth of Lululemon and the Cloud shoes I’ve been wanting to try to get me back… as tempting as it was, I stayed strong and kept reminding myself that it would just be the same toxic cycle over and over again. These three tips really helped me move on.
1) Remember that it will not get better if you go back. It may for a little while, but it will soon be the same cycle that repeats itself and you will get hurt again, going back to them is just prolonging the pain. Don’t do it. Once it’s done, make sure it’s done for good. If your ex is toxic and didn’t treat you well, even more of a reason to stay in your worth and not go back to them.
2) Do not look at their social media. Block them if you need to. Also, do not look at the social media of anyone that they date after you. It does not matter who they are dating and what they are doing. It is done, it is over. Forget about them. Looking at social media will just bring up the pain all over again and you don’t need that.
3) Remind yourself of the lessons that you learned and use those to be better in your next relationship. Get excited for a new and better person!
... Read moreBreakups are incredibly tough, a whirlwind of emotions that can leave you feeling lost and heartbroken. While the initial pain is inevitable, finding healthy ways to cope and move forward is crucial. My own journey taught me that while it's tempting to revisit the past or dwell on what ifs, true healing comes from intentional steps forward. The three tips I shared earlier – not going back, staying off social media, and learning your lessons – were my anchors during a rough time, and I want to dive a little deeper into how they can truly transform your healing process.
First, the idea of never going back might sound harsh, but it's about protecting your future self. That fleeting comfort an ex might offer, even with grand gestures like expensive gifts, often masks the same old patterns that caused the pain in the first place. You deserve a love that doesn't require you to constantly relive trauma. Remind yourself daily of your worth and the reasons the relationship ended. It’s a powerful act of self-respect to close that door for good, no matter how tempting it is to peek back inside. Think of it as breaking a toxic habit; the first few days are the hardest, but with each passing day, you build strength and resilience.
Secondly, the social media detox is non-negotiable. It’s like trying to heal a wound while constantly picking at it. Seeing their posts, their new life, or even worse, who they're with now, only reopens fresh wounds and keeps you stuck in a loop of comparison and pain. I found blocking or muting was necessary for my peace of mind. It’s not about bitterness; it’s about creating a safe space for your heart to mend. Instead of scrolling, pick up a book, call a friend, or perhaps take a walk on a sandy beach if you're lucky enough to live near one. Disconnecting digitally allows you to reconnect with yourself and the real world around you.
Finally, learning your lessons isn't about blaming yourself, but about growth. Every relationship teaches us something, good or bad. What did you learn about your own needs, your boundaries, and what you truly want in a partner? Use this wisdom to build a stronger, healthier foundation for your next relationship. This period of reflection can be incredibly empowering, turning pain into purpose. Get excited for the person you're becoming and the healthier connections you'll foster moving forward.
Beyond these core tips, I discovered the immense power of self-care and building a strong support system. After taking steps to cut ties and clear my digital space, I focused on rediscovering *me*. I started taking long walks on the sandy beach near my home, often with my furry companion, feeling the ocean breeze clear my head. Simple joys like treating myself to a delicious cupcake became little acts of self-love. I found new hobbies and spent quality time with friends who truly uplifted me. Leaning on my support system was invaluable. They were there to listen without judgment, to remind me of my worth, and to pull me out for fun, distracting activities.
If you have a friend going through heartbreak, remember the best thing you can do is listen. Validate their feelings. Offer to go on a beach walk, share a cupcake, or just sit with them. Gently encourage self-care and remind them they're not alone. Help them see the light at the end of the tunnel, not by minimizing their pain, but by showing them that healing is possible. This journey isn't a race, but a process of transformation. Embrace it, be kind to yourself, and know that you are capable of building a beautiful new chapter.
Thank you💛🍋💛