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In college, there is a group of friends, but do not want to work together!! Why?

Many people are thinking that there is a good group of friends. When there is a group job, you will not think too much when finding people to join the group to work, but for us, the group job is something that feels terrible. 🥹

Because when there is a group work, it is often grouped with friends in the group. If there is a lack of people or fragments, it has to pull people from other groups. But we really want to be that person. We feel that group work should help each other, not alone or exploit each other, which we have experienced for 2 years.

Our group is a group of 4-5 friends. When the teacher works, the group usually has a group of 3 people, some 5 people. Sometimes it is perfect, sometimes there must be a lack of people. But a friend also asks to be in the group. And that friend likes to take advantage of it, not helping with work or anything. Claims some errands. There is some errands. Can't do it. Honestly, study at the same college, same class, study at the same time, no one is better. Anyone knows more, everyone has to study again. When helping with any work, that friend always says that he can't do it, even if he never opens the internet or books, see how to do it. Can't do it. Or if you take a simple job to do, it's usually done. After that, you have to solve it or sometimes you have to do it again. If this is the case, do it yourself better than this feeling has sprung up countless times. Many times, trying to avoid group work from this friend, sometimes evade, sometimes inevitably. 🥹🥹

It feels really bad. Many times, many admonitions or even admonishments, but that is, he doesn't even pay attention because just one friend makes college life not fun. Group work is bad. For those who are less or hard to find, sometimes we think that being alone is not bad. Lonely, but more comfortable. 💗

# No friends # Friend problem # University friends # Share experience # Student story

2024/9/27 Edited to

... Read moreถ้าใครกำลังเจอ “งานกลุ่มมหาลัย” แล้วรู้สึกเหมือนเรา—มีเพื่อนในห้องนะ แต่พอถึงเวลาทำงานกลุ่มกลับอยากเป็นคนที่หลุดกลุ่ม/เป็นเศษมากกว่า เพราะกลัวต้องแบกงานคนเดียว—ขอแชร์วิธีที่เราเคยลองใช้ให้พออยู่ได้แบบไม่เครียดเกินไปค่ะ 1) ตั้งกติกาก่อนเริ่มงาน (กันงานไหลมาที่เรา) ตอนรวมกลุ่มกันครั้งแรก อย่ารีบแบ่งงานแบบพูดลอยๆ แนะนำให้คุยให้ชัดว่า “ชิ้นงานต้องมีอะไรบ้าง” แล้วแยกเป็นงานย่อย พร้อมกำหนดเดดไลน์ย่อย เช่น วันไหนส่งโครงร่าง วันไหนส่งเนื้อหา วันไหนรวมไฟล์ ถ้าทำได้ให้พิมพ์สรุปไว้ในแชตกลุ่มเลย จะได้ไม่เกิดคำว่า “นึกว่าเธอทำ” 2) แบ่งงานเป็นชิ้นที่วัดผลได้ บางคนชอบบอกว่า “ทำไม่เป็น” หรือ “ไม่ว่าง” แล้วสุดท้ายส่งงานแบบส่งๆ เราเคยแก้ด้วยการแบ่งงานให้เป็นผลลัพธ์จับต้องได้ เช่น “สรุป 2 หน้า + ใส่อ้างอิง 3 แหล่ง” หรือ “ทำสไลด์หน้า 6–10 พร้อมรูปประกอบ” แทนการบอกกว้างๆว่า “ช่วยทำพาร์ทนี้หน่อย” เพราะถ้าวัดผลไม่ได้ เราจะตามยากมาก 3) ใช้วิธีเช็กงานเป็นรอบ ไม่รอวันส่ง เราเคยพลาดรอเพื่อนถึงคืนก่อนส่ง สุดท้ายต้องทำใหม่หมด ลองเปลี่ยนเป็นเช็ก 2 รอบ: รอบแรกดูโครง (หัวข้อ/สาระถูกไหม) รอบสองดูรายละเอียด (ภาษา/อ้างอิง/รูปแบบ) ถ้าเพื่อนยังไม่ส่งตามรอบ ให้ทักในกลุ่มแบบสุภาพแต่ชัดเจน เช่น “ขอไฟล์ภายใน 20.00 น. นะ เราจะรวมงานให้ทัน” 4) ถ้าคนในห้องเพื่อนเอาเปรียบ ให้คุยด้วยข้อมูล ไม่ใช่อารมณ์ เวลาจะตักเตือน เราว่าการยก “ข้อเท็จจริง” ช่วยมาก เช่น “พาร์ทที่ตกลงกันยังไม่ส่ง 2 ครั้งแล้ว ทำให้เราต้องแก้/ทำแทน” แล้วตามด้วยทางเลือก “ช่วยทำให้เสร็จภายในพรุ่งนี้ หรือถ้าไม่ไหวขอให้รับงานส่วนอื่นที่ชัดเจนแทน” วิธีนี้ลดการทะเลาะและทำให้คุยกันเป็นเรื่องงาน 5) วางแผนทางหนีทีไล่ ถ้าเลี่ยงไม่ได้จริงๆ บางวิชาต้องจับกลุ่มเดิมหรือเพื่อนขอแจมตลอด เราเคยใช้วิธี “ยืนยันจำนวนคน” ตั้งแต่แรก เช่น ถ้าอาจารย์ให้ 3 คน ก็ยึด 3 คนตามนั้น หรือถ้าจำเป็นต้องรับเพิ่ม ให้บอกตรงๆว่าเพิ่มได้แต่ต้องรับผิดชอบชิ้นงาน X และส่งก่อนวัน Y (ไม่ใช่เพิ่มมาเฉยๆ) 6) เมื่อไหร่ควรแจ้งอาจารย์ ถ้าเตือนแล้วไม่เปลี่ยน แถมกระทบคะแนนรวม เราเคยเลือกแจ้งอาจารย์แบบให้เกียรติ โดยสรุปงานที่แต่ละคนทำและหลักฐานการคุยเรื่องเดดไลน์ (ไม่ต้องโจมตีแรง) ขอให้อาจารย์พิจารณาให้คะแนนรายบุคคล หรือให้ประเมินเพื่อนร่วมกลุ่มท้ายคาบ สุดท้ายเราอยากบอกว่า การอยู่คนเดียวในมหาลัยไม่ได้น่ากลัวเสมอไป บางช่วงการทำงานเดี่ยวทำให้สบายใจ ไม่ต้องนัดวัน ไม่ต้องคอยตามงานใคร แต่ถ้าต้องทำงานกลุ่มจริงๆ การตั้งขอบเขตและข้อตกลงให้ชัด จะช่วยให้เราไม่เหนื่อยจนหมดไฟค่ะ

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A laptop screen shows an "Unassigned Task" list for Digital Marketing and Java Programming, detailing research and writing tasks with due dates. Text overlays describe "Regret #1: No Clear Roles" and "Regret #2: Trusting the Ghost."
My biggest group project regrets
You haven't truly lived until a group project shatters your spirit and your GPA at the same time 💀 Here are my biggest group project regrets, aka, the mistakes I made so you don’t have to suffer like I did 😭 College teaches you a lot, but nothing compares to the life lessons you get when
Meredith Jao

Meredith Jao

9 likes

A close-up of a person's face with smudged eye makeup, appearing to have been crying. The text overlay reads: 'the truth behind staying friends with your ex'.
Two people are hugging on a street, viewed from inside a car. One person's face is obscured by a speech bubble emoji. Text reads: 'this is my ex boyfriend after we broke up, we decided to stay friends'.
A black and white photo shows a woman smiling next to a person in a uniform whose face is covered by a black heart emoji. Text expresses: 'if i'm being fr, i am still so very in love with him i hope we work things out and get back together soon'.
truth behind staying friends with your ex :(
it’s really hard for me right now, but i gotta keep chugging along. - YOU ARE LOVED - - - - - #lemon8diary #hellolemon8 #stylesetter #dayinmylife #embracevulnerability #storytime #unaesthetic #livephoto #springaesthetic #fallvibes
evie michelle

evie michelle

1531 likes

The title slide for an article titled "WHY I HATED LONG DISTANCE IN COLLEGE THE TEA ON COLLEGE LDRS," displayed over blurred blue text messages on a gray background, with two heart icons and the Lemon8 logo.
A person holding a sign that reads "I WILL MICH YOU SO MUCH NEXT YEAR BUT FOR NOW WANNA GO TO PROM?" in a grassy outdoor setting, accompanying text about the author's college long-distance relationship backstory.
Text boxes detailing how long-distance negatively impacted the author's anxious attachment and made her feel less present, set against a blurred background of an airplane window view, with the Lemon8 logo.
why I wouldn't do long-distance in college again 😕
When I moved out of state for college, my high school boyfriend and I decided to try long-distance. He went to school in Arizona, while I went to school in Michigan (and later in Illinois). The next 3 years, we were dating on and off, and oh man, it was HARD. I don’t regret doing long distance, but
Sarah Jolie 🌸

Sarah Jolie 🌸

774 likes

The image features two women, one in a white lace dress and another hugging her from behind, both laughing joyfully in a wooded outdoor setting. The overlay text reads "WHAT TO DO WHEN FRIENDSHIPS DRIFT APART."
Three women, one in a white dress, one in light green, and one in blue, are laughing and interacting with their hands in an outdoor setting. The overlay text asks, "COULD YOU HAVE DONE BETTER? Are you drifting apart because they stopped reaching out or because you never reached out. How could you have done better?"
A woman in a white dress and another in a dark blue dress walk and smile in a wooded area, with other people in the background. The overlay text advises, "TALK ABOUT IT Let your friend know how you are feeling. If you want the friendship to continue, tell them that. Discuss what you'd like the friendship to look like in the future."
What to Do When Friendships Drift Apart
If you are anything like me, you have friends from various parts of your life, scattered in different places. Childhood friends that have moved away, college friends that moved back to their hometowns after college, and friends that still live in my hometown, but who are in a different life phases
staci york 💛🍋

staci york 💛🍋

50 likes

Your friend group isn’t complete without these 4 🌸
I have learned that your friendship will either drain you or elevate you there’s no in between ‼️ #friendshipsmatter #friendshipandsuccess #dayonevibes
Kathian 🍒

Kathian 🍒

1140 likes

The cover image shows shadows of two people forming a heart, with text "Friendships I cut off and why" and "Hard to say goodbye, but SO necessary," indicating a story about ending friendships.
A person with glasses and a yellow headscarf is shown alongside text describing a friend, "the energy vampire," who created endless drama, treated the author as a therapist, and only contacted them with problems.
A person wearing a baseball cap is featured with text describing "the phantom friend" who cut off contact, was unresponsive to texts but active on social media, and is now a happy mother of two.
*long-ish storytime/post*
lately, I’ve been reflecting on my relationships and how I hold onto people for much longer than I truly should — and I can’t help but be proud of myself for finally bringing things to an end. *some context of each friend* 🐼 was my college roommate my freshman year, and she was truly the bes
ari michelle 🫧🐝

ari michelle 🫧🐝

97 likes

And you speak from your heart while you do it❤️
#friendship #friendshipbreakup #endingfriendships #friendadvice
Kailey Anna

Kailey Anna

10.1K likes

Why You Shouldn't Make Friends at Work
https://www-psychologytoday-com.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-psychology-of-creativity/202306/why-you-should-not-make-friends-at-work/amp
Jan Verschoor 🟨⬜🟪⬛

Jan Verschoor 🟨⬜🟪⬛

0 likes

Why you should never Be house mates with friends
Vulnerability 🤍 My Story 🤍 How I Felt 🤍 My Takeaways The summer of 2023 was a wild one. While we sat down having coffee at the cutest and most eclectic coffee house down here in Miami, I listened to my close friends talk about how expensive life was. We were all talking about how much we
Monica Olivera

Monica Olivera

3 likes

An office desk with two MacBooks, a thermos, and Kleenex, set against a city skyline view. The image features an overlay text that reads, "I do hate the whole 'we're all a family' vibe," reflecting a sentiment about workplace relationships.
Why are some people against making friends at work
I’m young and have JUST started out in the corporate world. So I’m here for an open discussion to be honest ☺️ I admit that there may be things I don’t know yet. Of course everyone can approach work and friendships however they feel comfortable. I’m not telling anyone how to live. I’m honestly j
Cecilia💌

Cecilia💌

24 likes

Need to vent but have nobody to talk to?
Try Humans. (Not sponsored) #mentalhealth #vent #AnonymousStory #lemon8diarychallenge #storytime
maya! 🎧

maya! 🎧

765 likes

College... the stuff no one talks about
💗To the girls going to college this year:💗 If I could sit across from you with coffee and tell you what I’ve learned, here’s what I’d say: 💗You’re going to feel overwhelmed. And that doesn’t mean you’re failing. The first few months can feel like: - Too many assignments - Too many emotio
Jaelyn

Jaelyn

249 likes

A street scene with buildings, outdoor dining, and three young women walking, overlaid with the title "Things I Do to Keep My Friendships Strong in College."
A collage featuring two friends, food items like a crepe cake and pastries, with a pink note listing friendship tips: "Check in regularly," "Plan little things," and "Celebrate the small stuff."
A group of smiling young people in the background, with a yellow note overlay detailing friendship advice: "Be honest + open" and "Make time even when it's busy." A banner emphasizes college friendships are worth the effort.
College Friendship Habits That Actually Work
College gets so busy, and I’ve definitely had moments where I felt distant from people I care about. But over time, I learned that strong friendships don’t just “happen” — you have to be intentional 💛 I started checking in more, planning little things like study dates or matcha runs, and celebr
Kaylin Do

Kaylin Do

25 likes

10 Signs They Don't Actually Like You 😕😓
Sometimes we want to believe someone likes us, even when the signs are screaming otherwise. 🚩 Maybe you’ve noticed something feels off, but you keep telling yourself you’re overthinking. I get it. I’ve been there. But let’s not waste our time on people who only tolerate us instead of genuinely liki
ZINNIABEA SAGED

ZINNIABEA SAGED

27 likes

Healing after a Friendship Breakup #friendshipadvice , #movingon , #healingjourney , #lifelessons , #selfgrowth
Sabrina Zohar

Sabrina Zohar

50 likes

Two smiling women sit on steps in an outdoor amphitheater with a large red rock formation in the background. Overlay text reads "60 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR FRIENDS GET TO KNOW YOUR FRIENDS BETTER!". The Lemon8 logo and username are at the bottom left.
A list of 20 "LEVEL 1: JUST GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER" questions is displayed over a blurred background of an outdoor amphitheater. Questions include topics like work, hobbies, music, and food. The Lemon8 logo and username are at the bottom left.
A list of 20 "LEVEL 2: GOING A BIT DEEPER & MORE PERSONAL" questions is displayed over a blurred background of an outdoor amphitheater. Questions cover family, childhood, goals, and fears. The Lemon8 logo and username are at the bottom left.
questions to get to know your friends better🦋🦋
After graduating, it's been SO much harder to make new friends! I think a huge part of it is that there's not a lot of common ground anymore (ie. going to the same college) unless you work at the same company! I've been meeting a lot of new people online and via bumble and I've real
Sarah Jolie 🌸

Sarah Jolie 🌸

727 likes

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