Should I feel guilty?😔

I’m a mom to a 4 year old and a 2 year old. I love my kids more than anything but I’ve been hiding “fake errands” just to breathe. I’ll tell my partner I need to grab milk from the store, then park in the lot for 20 minutes, just scrolling my phone or staring into space. Sometimes I don’t even go inside! I just soak up the peace where nobody’s yelling “Mom, look!” every 6 seconds.

Then I drive home with one carton of milk, feeling both relieved and weirdly guilty. My own mom never seemed to need time away from us (or at least never showed it), so now I’m treating a solo post office run like a spa day.

Is this just normal parenting exhaustion needing quiet to function? Or am I slipping into avoidance and risking resentment later? Do any other moms fake errands for alone time? Should I stop feeling ashamed, or is this a red flag I need to address?

#Letschat #Asklemon8 #MomLifeRealities

2025/12/8 Edited to

... Read moreMany moms find themselves faking errands simply to create rare pockets of solitude amidst the chaos of parenting young children. This behavior is actually quite common and can be seen as a healthy coping mechanism rather than a symptom of poor parenting. Parenting small kids is exhausting, and constant demands for attention and stimulation can leave even the most loving moms feeling drained and overwhelmed. Taking time to recharge alone, even if it means sitting quietly in a car during a fake errand, can provide vital moments of mental rest. These brief respites help reduce stress and prevent feelings of resentment from building up. Feeling guilty about this is natural because society and older generations often didn’t openly acknowledge the need for parental alone time, but today's understanding emphasizes the importance of self-care for sustainable parenting. It is important to recognize the difference between occasional faking of errands as a form of self-care versus long-term avoidance or emotional withdrawal from family responsibilities. If these fake errands help a mom return feeling refreshed and more patient, then they serve a positive purpose. However, if they are being used to escape deeper relationship or parenting issues repeatedly, it might be worth reflecting on those feelings and seeking support. Connecting with other moms who share similar experiences can be very reassuring and provide useful strategies for managing exhaustion. Online communities and support groups offer safe spaces to discuss these honest feelings without judgment. Remember, prioritizing your own well-being is crucial not only for you but for your children too. Taking guilt-free breaks is part of healthy parenting, not something to be ashamed of. Ultimately, faking errands to sit in your car alone is not a mark of a bad mom. It is a natural and understandable way to find brief peace in a busy life. Embracing this practice while staying mindful of overall family engagement can improve your well-being and parenting experience.

7 comments

Twin83's images
Twin83

No you just need your space. Life sometimes is overwhelming!!!

deeas29's images
deeas29

What is needed is a shared responsibility with the two ppl, not one who created the child.

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