😂🧠 MY TOXIC TRAIT? I’M A BETTER LISTENER THAN I AM A TALKER.
I’m naturally quiet, so when you’re talking, I’m usually listening. And baby… I don’t just hear words. I’m paying attention to patterns. 👀😂
If I don’t really know you yet, I’m listening to EVERYTHING you say. Names, dates, details, stories, little comments… ALL OF IT.
And if you tell me something today that contradicts something you told me six months ago?
I might not say a WORD. 😂
I’ll just mentally open a folder like:
📁 “Interesting… 🤔”
And file that information away. 😂😂😂
The crazy part is, I can remember conversations from YEARS ago with people I barely talk to anymore. Four years later, you can say something and I’ll be like:
“Hold on… didn’t you tell me back in 2022 that…” 👀🤣
Now I know that sounds a little toxic, but there’s a biblical principle behind paying attention.
Proverbs 18:13 basically teaches us not to answer before we’ve actually heard someone out.
Listening is a form of discernment.
But here’s where I’ve had to grow: remembering something doesn’t mean I need to weaponize it.
Because people sometimes lie intentionally.
But sometimes people exaggerate, misremember, misunderstand, leave out details, or simply change their minds. And sometimes we remember THEIR words better than they remember their own. 😂
So I’m learning not to automatically turn every inconsistency into a courtroom case.
Sometimes wisdom says, “Pay attention.”
Sometimes love says, “Give grace.”
And sometimes discernment says, “Yep… that’s worth keeping an eye on.” 👀😂
Because being quiet doesn’t mean I’m unaware.
I may not say much, but trust me… I heard you. 😂🧠
From my own experience, being a person who listens more than speaks has been both a blessing and a challenge. It’s fascinating how much information we pick up when we truly pay attention—not just to the words, but to the details behind them. I find myself mentally filing away names, dates, and stories, even if they seem trivial at the moment. This habit has helped me catch inconsistencies over time, but I’ve also learned that not every contradiction is an attack or a lie. Sometimes people simply forget or change their perspectives. I once had a friend who told me conflicting stories over the years. Initially, I was tempted to confront her every time I noticed a discrepancy, but over time, I realized the importance of giving grace. Instead of weaponizing those memories, I chose to observe patterns with discernment, recognizing that listening is not about scoring points but about understanding the whole person. Incorporating principles like Proverbs 18:13 has helped me grow. The verse reminds us not to answer before hearing fully, teaching patience in communication. Listening actively is truly a form of wisdom, revealing whether someone needs empathy, correction, or just space. This approach also applies to everyday life situations—work meetings, family gatherings, or casual conversations. When I stay quiet but attentive, I often pick up on cues others miss. However, I also strive to balance this with kindness, remembering that misremembering or exaggeration is human, not always deceitful. Ultimately, being a quiet, better listener has deepened my relationships. It encourages me to keep an open mind while setting healthy boundaries, and it reminds me that silence often speaks louder than words. If you find yourself naturally quiet or keen on listening, embracing this trait with wisdom and grace can transform how you connect with others.
