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Why did you share the Bully experience?

2024/9/9 Edited to

... Read moreถ้าคุณกำลังโดนบูลลี่อยู่ตอนนี้ (หรือเคยโดนแล้วฝังใจเหมือนเรา) อยากบอกก่อนว่า “มันไม่ใช่ความผิดของเรา” เลยนะ โดยเฉพาะการล้อเรื่องฟันเหยิน สีผิว หรือชื่อเล่นที่คนตั้งให้ มันคือการเอาปมของคนอื่นมาเหยียบเราเพื่อให้ตัวเองรู้สึกเหนือกว่า ซึ่งเจ็บมาก โดยเฉพาะช่วงวัยเรียนที่เรายังไม่แข็งแรงพอ จากที่เราเคยเจอ ทั้งการล้อซ้ำๆ ต่อหน้า และการนินทา/แขวนในแชท สิ่งที่ช่วยได้จริงคือ “จัดการเป็นขั้น” ไม่ใช่ฝืนทน 1) ตั้งขอบเขตด้วยประโยคสั้นๆ เวลาคนล้อเรื่องฟัน เหล็กดัด หรือสีผิว เราใช้ประโยคเดิมๆ ที่พูดนิ่งๆ เช่น “ไม่โอเคนะ หยุดพูดแบบนี้ได้ไหม” หรือ “อย่าล้อเรื่องรูปลักษณ์เรา” พูดให้ชัดแต่ไม่ต้องอธิบายเยอะ เพราะคนที่ตั้งใจบูลลี่ เขาไม่ได้อยากเข้าใจ 2) เก็บหลักฐานเมื่อเป็นเรื่องแชท/นินทา ถ้าโดนแขวนในกลุ่ม หรือมีแชทเชิงบูลลี่ แคปหน้าจอเก็บไว้ เผื่อจำเป็นต้องคุยกับครูที่ปรึกษา/ผู้ปกครอง หรือรายงานแพลตฟอร์ม หลักฐานช่วยให้เรื่องไม่กลายเป็น “เขาพูด-เราพูด” 3) เลือก “อันเฟรนด์/บล็อก” ไม่ได้แปลว่าเราอ่อนแอ เราก็เคยรู้สึกผิดที่ต้องอันเฟรนด์ แต่พอทำแล้วโล่งมาก เพราะพื้นที่ออนไลน์ควรเป็นที่ปลอดภัย การตัดคนที่ทำร้ายใจออก คือการดูแลตัวเองแบบหนึ่ง 4) หา 1 คนที่ไว้ใจเพื่อเล่าให้ฟัง ไม่จำเป็นต้องเล่าทุกคน แค่มีเพื่อน/พี่/ครูที่เรามั่นใจ 1 คนก็พอ บางทีแค่ได้ระบาย เราจะไม่รู้สึกว่า “สู้คนเดียว” และเขาอาจช่วยเป็นพยานหรือช่วยกันตั้งขอบเขตในห้องได้ 5) เรื่องรูปลักษณ์: ดูแลตัวเองเพื่อ “เรา” ไม่ใช่เพื่อชนะคนบูลลี่ หลายคนโดนล้อเรื่องฟันเหยินจนไม่กล้ายิ้ม พอมีโอกาสจัดฟันหรือใส่เหล็กดัด ก็ขอให้ทำเพราะอยากดูแลสุขภาพช่องปาก/ความมั่นใจของตัวเองจริงๆ ไม่ใช่ทำเพื่อให้คนที่เคยล้อหยุด เพราะคนแบบนั้น ต่อให้เราสวยขึ้น เขาก็อาจหาประเด็นใหม่มาบูลลี่อยู่ดี 6) ฟื้นใจหลังโดนบูลลี่ (สิ่งที่เราทำแล้วดีขึ้น) - เลิกอ่านซ้ำๆ/วนคิดกับคำพูดเดิม แล้วเปลี่ยนไปทำกิจกรรมที่ทำให้เรารู้สึกเก่ง เช่น ออกกำลังกาย เรียนทักษะใหม่ - เขียนบันทึกสั้นๆ ว่าวันนี้เรารู้สึกอะไร และเราผ่านมันยังไง เพื่อให้เห็นว่าเราก้าวหน้าขึ้นจริง - ถ้าความรู้สึกหนักมาก นอนไม่หลับ กินไม่ได้ หรือกลัวไปโรงเรียน แนะนำคุยนักจิตวิทยา/สายด่วนสุขภาพจิตในพื้นที่ได้เลย ไม่ต้องรอให้ “แย่กว่านี้” สุดท้าย อยากกอดคนที่เคยโดนล้อเรื่องฟัน เหล็กดัด สีผิว หรือชื่อเล่นแรงๆ นะ มันเจ็บจริง และบางทีมันจำฝังใจนานมาก แต่เรามีสิทธิ์ใช้ชีวิตแบบไม่ต้องแบกคำพูดของคนอื่น และมีสิทธิ์เลือกอยู่กับคนที่ให้เกียรติเราเสมอ

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