Couple Life - Before and after a kid
I can almost feel the excitement whenever my ex bf (now husband) suggests a food or fun place we could explore. We were so carefree. Though we both worked, we looked forward to the weekends especially Friday where we could stay up late to have supper or a midnight movie or even a picnic at night 🤣 It felt like it wasn't too long ago when we had an adventurous date night where we truly felt like we can do anything.
Date nights are much simpler now. We have a nice dinner, we don't even have much energy for a midnight movie since i always end up sleeping in the theatre. We would count the number of hours we've left to sleep, assuming it is on a friday and we have a toddler that sleeps at 8pm and wakes up at 7am. If we reach home at 1am, we would have showered and slept at probably 2am, which will leave us 5 hours of sleep. Most times, a date night isn't ideal as I need my sleep to maintain my sanity to manage my toddler the next day.
Plans made prior to having a kid were spontaneous, we would wake up one morning and be like, let's take a few days off work and travel to thailand just to go for massages and food. Booking a concert/musical without much thought. Booking a flight a year prior because it was cheaper.
Now though? Booking even a short trip to Bintan will require so much logistics work - who is gonna care for the kid? If my mom can take the kid, we have to make sure to go on days she doesn't have errands or appointments to go to. Have to ensure the fridge is full before we leave. Ensure laundry is washed before we leave so as to not leave my mom with so much work. We don't have a helper and will never (for good reasons), therefore there are many considerations before a trip without our little one. Booking a flight a year in advance just gives me anxiety, can it be cancelled/refunded if I can't make it then? What's gonna happen in a year? Will I still be alive to go on this trip? 🤣 The maximum i'll go is probably 2 months before a trip happens, uncertainty gives me anxiety i don't care how much cheaper it is. Going to concerts/musicals is not a problem for us, its just another date night but the challenge is really, will I manage to snag a ticket? Thanks to scalpers, it is currently impossible to get a reasonably priced ticket from the original host of the event without getting the price jacked up at $10k for a pair 🙄
To those without kids, they are really a life-long commitment with no refunds. Although it isn't rainbows and butterflies, I will NEVER change it for the world. To those with kids, you know how it is, continue nurturing and loving our children, our world needs more love and kindness 🩶
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Having children significantly alters couple dynamics and lifestyle choices. Before kids, spontaneous trips and late-night adventures were common, as highlighted in the narrative of the couple's carefree early relationship. The transition to parenting leads to reevaluating priorities and logistics, making even simple outings an exercise in planning. The shift from late nights out to prioritizing sleep is a relatable aspect of parenting, emphasizing the need for balance. Additionally, embracing the love and commitment that come with parenthood amidst the challenges is crucial. Couples often find themselves reflecting on their past experiences with a mix of nostalgia and appreciation for their current life stage. Conversations about managing date nights, vacations, and personal time are integral in maintaining the relationship. Sharing responsibilities and nurturing each other not only as partners but also as parents becomes essential. The evolving definitions of love and intimacy in the context of family life can lead to richer connections, providing support and understanding in the unpredictable journey of parenthood. For couples navigating this transition, open communication about individual needs and shared responsibilities is vital. Finding ways to keep the spark alive, even with a toddler in the mix, can contribute to a healthier relationship. Strategies such as scheduling regular date nights, planning short trips, or simply acknowledging each other's efforts can reinforce their bond. It's a reminder that while parenting is indeed a lifelong commitment, the moments shared as a couple remain foundational to a thriving family life.
