(transformation 37) he has seen the future it looks phallic #elfboy #wizardelfboy

my sister is ginger i’m allowed to make fun of them [i’m straight btw] #elfboy #gingerelfboy

[transformation 32] pretty accurate #elfboy #worldcup

bloodwork came back positive for bankruptcy each iv bag comes with a complimentary reminder of poverty i asked what was due and they said yes even the bill has cancer #elfboy #cancerelfboy

if i flip this burger twelve times rebecca will love me again told my son i’m proud of him. he said ‘thanks’ then i woke up i put the ‘father’ in ‘why did you leave’ love language = silent car rides you smell that? it’s divorce congratulations, you’ve unlocked the divorced pokemon

the guest list is shorter now til death did us part every bride wants a killer dress the wedding playlist skipped to screams lol so weird guests were gifted PTSD didn’t feel like curing my crippling abandonment issues pre-wedding playlist was just me screaming into a mirror wan

ELFBOY’s metalcore era: back when i was cosplaying as a human. with matt, paul, austin, reece, josh, and alex. the screams you hear now started here. #elfboy #metalcore

horsepower: 1 barn’s full of hay, but he still feels empty he makes butter scream cornfield rave, BYO pitchfork he’s the reason the hay bales scream at night the elders said he was possessed. jokes on them, he charges rent to the demons #elfboy #amishelfboy

Sub-character strip now injected at the base of every ELFBOY cover. It’s like Pokémon evolution, but everyone’s wanted in multiple states. Tell me your favorite ELFBOY without telling me you’re in therapy. Forget the Spider-Verse… welcome to the ELFBOY-Verse. 21 forms, zero f***s. Collect

For when Hot Topic is too shy and Etsy is too sober. Every item comes with: • 1 curse • 1 acknowledge from an eldritch being • 17 invisible spiders These shirts say “don’t heal. evolve.” Wear these shirts to your exorcism. arrive late. leave pregnant. Outfit tip: pair with a dead sta