Healing and growth often feel like a roller coaster we're getting thrown out of. It's not easy, but it's not always disaster even when it feels like it. Whether we actually have things we need to deal with in life or not. We can always deal with them better when we work through our emot

Children are often forgotten in the process of parents going through high conflict divorces and abusive partners. It's important for everyone to do the healing work, even more for anyone with kids. We are sometimes the only person who can model what a healthy person looks like. I know this isn&

The most important thing is to recognize the toxic people. Then we can set and hold boundaries and remove them from our lives. Being kind to ourselves is essential because it allows us to learn from these experiences. This helps us to be more aware of toxic people sooner.

Ridiculous lawsuits and keeping us perpetually in court is what abusive people do. It's just another layer of things they use to try to gain more power and control over us. Document everything and do the work to heal. All of this helps, but it still won't be easy.

If we spent as much time and energy helping people who have gone through abuse as we do fighting with each other about who is more abusive. We would live in a very different world. Let's focus on the things that actually matter, not blaming everyone else.

Abusive people only want one thing. Power and control. They don't want to be good parents or have good relationships, they just want power and control. They will also do anything they need to, including burning their own life down, to accomplish this.

The children are unfortunately often forgotten in and after abusive relationships. Often the help they get isn't as good as the adults get, which isn't enough already. It's another heartbreaking thing to unravel for a parent who's been fighting for survival.

Narcissists show their true selves at the end of the relationship, or in discard phases. It still may be subtle, but they show they don't care about you. They think they own us and everything else. This is a lie we don't need to accept!

Many people shut down and we lose credibility with them when we use terms that have been overused and misused. It's not that I don't want people to talk about the abuse they've gone through, but quite the opposite. It's that I want people to actually listen and help when we do.

I don't always feed the trolls, although it's definitely entertaining sometimes. I know it comes with the territory. I also know I'd rather put energy into the people who need it and deserve it.

Haters are gonna hate and they show up everywhere unfortunately. I respond because I understand some people are struggling and that's why they lash out. I also respond to show how you can respond, even to hate, in a kind respectful way. I also don't tolerate it and will block them. The impo

We all get to learn and grow from each other. Hopefully it helps with healing, but it definitely brings more connection, which is amazing. It gives me hope and I hope it does for others too. It's also a great distraction from any other garbage in the world.

Don't use terms like narcissist or gaslighting in court or other places you are trying to get help from. They're overused and often misused terms. Many people struggle with believing our stories, or understanding what we went through. Instead give specific examples of what happened in plain

For anyone who questions why we didn't want to fight for our stuff, or in court, or even for justice. It's because we've used every bit of energy we had and more fighting for survival. What's worse is we're usually still fighting to survive daily life after we get out. That'

Abusive people won't ever give anything up including the power and control over us. These are all things we must take for ourselves. It's not easy, but it's worth it and it's the only way we get our lives back.

Not everyone struggling or in misery is miserable or stuck. Many people move through it, whether fast or slow. Some people choose to be in it and they want to drag everyone else into it too. I choose not to spend time with these people. I also hope they choose at some point to work through it too!

Toxic people think they can walk back into our lives whenever they want and get whatever they want. This is completely BS! We don't owe them anything more than what was agreed to when we separated. They are simply looking for ways to force themselves back into our lives and control and push our

Many organizations of all kinds want us to fight and argue with each other and buy into their belief systems. This keeps us buying their products and it shuts down conversations about everything. The connection, community and conversation is one of the most important things in our lives. The more o

Abusive relationships in any form leave marks far beyond any physical ones we ever see. They also hold us back in more ways than most of us recognize. It's essential to get the support and do the work to heal and release those wounds. This is what I do. Help you let go of what you've gone t

It's not about working or trying harder, it's always about releasing the things holding us back. There are also many layers to this. Becoming aware of it is the first step. We can't change anything we're unaware of. Releasing the things holding us back is always easier than pushing