CAN I GET VULNERABLE? 🙏🏽💜
I used to hate my biological mother. Like despise.
Do you ever think about the question that a doctor, nurse, or counselor asks when they first triage you? “So, what brings you here today?”
I think about that question as a higher level life question, often.
You see, if you’re newer here, I was born out of wedlock and adopted from S. Korea when I was six months old. On May 2, 1989, I touched down for the very first time on US soil and was placed in my adoptive parent’s arms. Today is my second birthday!
As I grew up into childhood, adolescence, and even early adulthood, I attached despise as the primary emotion to my bio mother. To my bio dad, I was indifferent because I thought he was a jerk. But to my mother, how could she abandon me, give me up, live without me? Painful emotions I didn’t have the tools to process.
I don’t feel that way anymore. But instead, empathy and compassion. My bio mom did what she thought was best. (And it was considering other tragic alternatives.) She chose to give birth to me full-term knowing the dishonor and shame it could bring to her.
And that choice is something I’ll never be able to say thank you (enough) for, at least in this lifetime.
I was chosen. Which brings me back to that question… what brings you here?
I now realize I wasn’t just chosen FOR a purpose.
I wasn’t just chosen BY someone.
But I was chosen TO… chosen to something.
God chose me FOR a purpose. I was chosen BY my loving adoptive family. And my bio mom had chosen TO give me life and a lifestyle that she couldn’t provide. I weep at just the thought.
Of course, I’m eternally grateful for my Mims family. But this year I’m hyper aware and thankful for my biological mother making a sacrificial choice.
If, God willing, I’m ever blessed to be a husband and father some day in the (hopefully near) future, I know the weight of her choice will be even more significant. 💜💛
She gave me a shot at building a legacy. And my Mims family did the hard work to nurture me when I almost gave it up. So much to be thankful for.
My dear friend Sara wrote me a custom poem, which I found again this week. It brought me to tears reading her words over me today. CHOSEN.
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In life, vulnerability can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth. It allows individuals to confront deep-seated emotions and foster connections that can heal past wounds. The author’s journey of reconciling feelings toward her biological mother is an inspiring narrative of transformation, demonstrating how empathy can shift negative perceptions into gratitude. Vulnerability not only opens the door to emotional healing but also helps others relate to similar experiences. Individuals dealing with their own struggles may find solace in shared stories, creating a sense of community and mutual understanding. The act of being vulnerable can indeed be a gift. By sharing personal experiences, people encourage others to see their vulnerabilities as strengths. Support groups, therapy, and friendships built on trust can significantly enhance emotional resilience. Furthermore, recognizing one's own narrative within the broader context of humanity can provide insight into life's complexities and the beauty of chosen families. Embracing vulnerability may not come without challenges, but the potential for growth, healing, and connection makes it a worthwhile pursuit.
Michael THANK YOU for sharing this. You know it might help someone else that’s in your position and can help tremendously make a light in others people lives. I can only think or imagine the battles you had with yourself and all the thoughts at one point but I’m happy that you lifted yourself up…