All sounds like a lot, doesn’t it? 😂 But these are genuinely just some of the things I’ve dealt with over the last five weeks. And there’s a caveat — I’ve simplified them considerably for the sake of a few TikTok slides! Pastoral work is important. It’s skilled. It’s nuanced. It requires empa

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There’s been so much discussion recently about Ofsted, inspection pressure and whether the current system is really working. But the conversation often seems to come back to the same point: Schools need accountability. So what’s the alternative? Out of curiosity, I asked AI exactly that.

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Things that mean you work in pastoral… the voicemail edition. 📞😂 Please tell me this isn’t just me. You listen once. You listen again. You turn the volume up. You practically climb inside the phone… …and you STILL don’t know whether they said 6 or 0. 😭 And if you’re leaving your numb

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Nobody really prepares you for this part of pastoral care. ❤️ You can support a young person for years and never find out how their story ends. You can care about them enormously, while always knowing there’s a professional line that you can’t cross — even when they don’t know that line is th

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The pastoral sixth sense. 👀😂 There are some things you just develop after working in pastoral for long enough. You know they did it. You know something’s happened. You know where the missing student will be. And the students genuinely believe you know EVERYTHING. We’re not going to co

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“Can I just have a quick word?” Four words every pastoral person knows are almost never followed by anything quick. 😂 A friendship issue becomes seven students, three group chats and 42 screenshots. A quick phone call home becomes attendance, family circumstances and something you need to

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Pastoral people… time to test yourselves. 👀😂 We use acronyms ALL day long in education — but how many of these do you actually know? And knowing what the letters stand for is only half the challenge… Can you explain what they actually mean in practice? 🚫 No Googling. 👀 Pick ONE. 👇 Put

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Pastoral Bingo: Monday edition 😂 Save this before the day gets going… then come back at 3pm and tell me your score. I have a feeling some of you will have a full house before break. 🤦🏼‍♀️😂 And if I’ve missed an obvious square, tell me what should have been on there — we might need a Pastor

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Every September, there it is: “Please confirm you have read KCSIE.” 👀😂 And yes… we absolutely should read it. But it’s a BIG document, there’s a lot to take in, and when you’re already sitting through safeguarding training, INSET and approximately 700 other things before the students arriv

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First day back! 🎉 Six weeks off and obviously we’re all being given a lovely day to get ourselves organised, prepare our spaces, meet with our teams and get ready for the students… HAHAHAHA. No. 😂 It’s INSET day. Exam results. School priorities. Safeguarding updates. Policies and pro

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And just like that… September is here. 😬😂 I’m not even properly back yet and my pastoral brain has already started making lists. Students to check on. Things I said I’d sort in September. New Year 7s to get to know. Old students I’ll inevitably still worry about. Plus all those annual p

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This one feels a little different to my usual posts. ❤️ For a long time, I’ve talked about how much pastoral work has changed. The responsibility has grown. The complexity has grown. And yet so many brilliant pastoral practitioners are still expected to learn much of the job simply by doing

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Every August I make myself the same promises. 😂 This year I’ll leave on time. I’ll eat an actual lunch, at lunchtime. I’ll stay on top of my emails, phone calls, recording and everything else. And when I go home, I’ll switch off. I say all of this with complete sincerity, despite hav

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Sometimes pastoral care doesn’t look particularly complicated from the outside. 😂 A chat. Five minutes out of lesson. Something to eat. A firm conversation. A joke when they’re having a rubbish day. But there’s usually a reason behind it. We’re building relationships so they kn

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Today is about the results. But it’s also about everything it took to get there. ❤️ Pastoral teams know the stories behind those numbers. We remember the student whose attendance made getting through the exams an achievement in itself. The one we met at the gate every morning. The one w

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Okay… yesterday I told you everything I’m NOT looking forward to about going back. 😂 So, in the interests of balance, there are some things I’ve genuinely missed. ❤️ My pastoral team. My people. The ones who understand the entire story from one look across the room. Seeing the students aga

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I’m not ready to go back yet. 😩😂 Not sure I ever will be, if I’m honest. My school brain has definitely started switching itself back on though — and unfortunately, it’s reminding me of all the things I’d happily leave in July. Drinking my lunch because there isn’t time to eat it. Being

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The bit I’m REALLY dreading about going back to work.

“The pastoral team can do it!” 😂 Somewhere along the way, non-teaching seems to have become another word for available. Playground duty? Pastoral can do it. Hold the toilet key? Pastoral can do it. Someone needs covering in an admin office? Pastoral can do it. Student Services need c

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There’s a very specific rhythm to the six-week summer holiday… 😂 Weeks 1–2: Decompressing. Please don’t ask me to make a decision. My brain is OFF. Weeks 3–4: Absolute bliss. ☀️ Reading. Pottering. Going out. Remembering who you are outside of school. THIS is the life. And then… Weeks

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The pastoral office really does have its own timetable. 😂 Before you’ve even put your bag down, someone needs you. By 9:15 you’ve heard three different reasons for being late, found a spare tie and called someone’s mum. By lunchtime, EVERYONE hates someone — despite there being 220 student

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