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Respectfully, you’re doing two full-time jobs: your actual job and rebuilding an entire fucking life after divorce. Of course your focus is different. Of course your capacity has changed. Your brain has 47 emotional tabs open while everyone at work is asking why the spreadsheet isn’t done yet 😭

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That’s the day I had 😃 #eldestdaughter #desitok #LifeAfterDivorce #parentifieddaughter

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Turns out becoming my own #1 fan did not make me more self-absorbed. 😂 It made me considerably less obsessed with everyone else. When I didn’t really know or like who I was, SO much energy went into overthinking, comparing, proving, over-functioning and quietly bullying myself into being “b

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The hardest part about being an eldest daughter isn’t trusting your partner. It’s trusting yourself enough to let go. Because if you’re always stepping in, you’ll never actually know what they’re capable of. You’re collecting evidence for your fear instead of your reality. The goal was never

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Love random people talks #eldestdaughter #parentifiedchild #lifeafterdivorce #relationshipadvice #onthisday

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I really thought divorce had quietly disqualified me from the beautiful-life club. 😂 Love. Adventure. Success. Peace. Feeling sexy. Belonging. A future I was actually excited about. Turns out I wasn’t disqualified from shit. My future just stopped arriving in the packaging I expected. A

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I think “who will want me after divorce?” is one of the sneakiest fears women carry. Because underneath it is still the belief that the best possible outcome is being chosen again. Babe. We already did that assignment. 😂 You know what being wanted feels like. Now I want you to know what

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Most women aren’t actually afraid of starting over 👇🏽 They’re afraid of what admitting they need to start over would mean. That maybe this isn’t a rough patch. Maybe trying harder isn’t the answer. Maybe being able to tolerate it isn’t a reason to stay. Maybe the life they worked SO hard

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If you are exhausted from solving 10 problems before one has even happened, apply through the link in my bio for a free consultation. #eldestdaughter #PeoplePleasing #confidence #identity

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I’ve had this exact conversation with a client. Nothing was “bad enough.” And that was exactly what kept her stuck. Because when there’s no obvious villain, you can spend YEARS using that as evidence that your loneliness, incompatibility and unhappiness must not count. So you keep waiting

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I thought divorce meant I had wasted years giving love to the wrong place. Turns out, love doesn’t always come back through the person you gave it to. Mine came back through friendships, family, opportunities, travel, my work, unexpected kindness, a beautiful relationship and a life that some

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The glow-up was built in incredibly unsexy ways 👇🏽 Making decisions without polling five people first. Letting someone misunderstand me without writing a dissertation to fix it. Doing things before I had 100% certainty. Keeping promises to myself. And realizing that making a decisio

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And I LOVE a good man, okay? 😂 This is not an anti-man household. But one thing divorce taught me is to never make a relationship my only investment. A relationship can end. People can change. Life can completely reroute. But your education? Your skills? Your experience? Your ability to ma

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Everyone asks, “What will divorce cost me?” Far fewer women ask, “What is staying already costing me?” Your concentration counts. Your career counts. Your health counts. Your time counts. The years you spend debating the same decision count. You don’t need someone to tell you whether to st

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Divorce can take a lot from you. Money. Confidence. Direction. Sometimes the entire life plan. But “I don’t have it right now” is very different from “I’m not capable of having it.” You can learn to make more money. You can build confidence. You can find new passions. You can get better at ma

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I used to think divorced moms struggled because they had too much on their plate. But after coaching them, I’ve realized something else. They hold themselves—and their children—to impossible standards. One difficult week. One missed milestone. One tantrum. One setback. And suddenly they erase

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People think the best part of life after divorce is the big stuff. The trips. The glow-up. The new love. The career wins. And yeah, love those for me. 😂 But the real flex? Nobody ruining the mood before dinner. Nobody’s bad mood becoming my responsibility. Nobody making me dread going

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The divorce glow up ain’t for the weak #divorceglow #LifeAfterDivorce #confidence #attitude

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My divorce paid for this. Emotionally. Because financially? That bitch was expensive. 😂 But if I was going to lose the life I thought I’d have, cry THAT much, question everything I knew about myself and rebuild from scratch… I was absolutely going to get something out of it. Better boun

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The women who ask me, “But what if I never find someone again?” are usually asking the wrong question. Not because finding love again doesn’t matter. Of course it does. But if the only reason you stay is because you’re scared you won’t find another relationship, then fear is making the dec

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Shazmeera Qadri

Your confidence coach 💪💕