9 things I wish I knew 9 years ago (TW: DV)

Reflecting on these 9 crucial insights really sheds light on how complex and damaging domestic abuse can be, but also how important it is to understand the realities behind it. One of the hardest realizations is that abusers rarely change their behavior — this is a reminder to not blame oneself for their actions or feel responsible for their control. Abuse is never justified by anything the victim does or fails to do. Staying in an abusive relationship doesn’t make anyone weak; survival and endurance in such difficult conditions are acts of strength. The assertion that good dads don’t hurt their children’s mothers highlights the deep impact domestic violence has on families, especially children who grow up witnessing abuse. The controlling nature of abusers persists as long as they remain in a victim’s life, emphasizing the importance of creating boundaries and safety plans. Another critical point is recognizing that men who abuse women generally harbor hatred toward women as a whole, not just toward their partners. Yet, not all men share these abusive tendencies, and healthy relationships where anger isn’t expressed through violence or threats are possible and worth seeking. For anyone currently struggling or supporting someone affected, these truths underline the importance of awareness and hope. It really does get better with time, support, and healing. Connecting with communities raising #dvawareness and #domesticabuseawareness can provide valuable resources and a sense of solidarity. Remember, recognizing abuse is the first step toward reclaiming your life and dignity. No one deserves to be controlled or hurt, and better days can lie ahead if you seek help and believe in your worth.