read this if someone made you feel unworthy 🍦
Helu zesties ✨️🎀
I did some soul searching recently and a lot of reading and journaling~ Here are some of my findings :) and I hope it helps you feel a little better too!!!
✨️ REMINDER: YOU ARE ALWAYS WORTHY, we are all made of stardust from the same universe.💫💫
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🎀The perfect filter of life - embracing your own authenticity🎀 (Slide 2)
ShOw UP AS YOUR TRUE SELF. Stop people pleasing, it doesn't serve you in any way. The ones that hates you for being you, aren't your people, just walk away!! Its nothing personal, its usually their own issues. People ultimately shouldn't bother you and you should be confidently yourself without fear. Because that will help you attract your own tribe that will accept you for whoever you are and your life will be so much more fulfilling ~ ✨️
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🍦Truamas, they are not meant to pull you down, they are meant to transform you 🍦
(Slide 3) Read the full post on IG: cbmeditates
You are not broken, you don't need to be fixed, your discomfort is not unnatural, they are a part of life. They are signs of growth.
You don't need to be healed, to be worthy of love.
You don't need to be perfect to be worthy of love.
Someone that truly love you, will appreciate all your flaws, all your quirks and even when your annoying.
Wouldn't it be tiring to be perfect and expecting your partner to be perfect too? Life is simply not perfect and it will never be. All that matters, is that you can be entirely yourself around someone that you want to grow with~♡
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🎈The truth about relationships and love 🎈
(slide 4 and 5)
If someone loves you, they will stay, you don't have to fight for someone to stay.
Most men chase for the women they love no matter how hard it gets, so until then, my human, never lose yourself for another human being okay, its not worth it. It's good to be able to fill your own cup first.
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🍧 What I read about avoidants recently 🍧
(slide 6 and 7)
📚 Attached by Amir Levine - which one of my commenters recommended was really helpful 🥰
I LEArNt that I indeed have a SECURE attachment style and I shouldn't take what my avoidant ex said about relationships to heart.
The book talks about how its actually in our genetics where we developed these attachments styles, although your childhood plays a part in it too~
ItS normal to depend on your partner to a certain extent.
Its normal to be able express your needs to your partner and not be met with outbursts. We just have to learn about the healthy balance of self reliance vs dependence in a relationship~
AnD when you have a secure, fulfilling relationship with someone, you can actually conquer anything thats thrown at you, even when life is super tough. So if next time anyone tells you they need to focus on their career or studies and can't make time for you, run! They are an avoidant.
Allll the dating guides that say "be less available to them, play the game", bla bla is actually helping you attract emotionally unavailable people. Be yourself, but also pour love into your own life first, don't make anyone the center of your world unless they do too, love your own life first, be true to yourself~
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Unlearning some beliefs that i picked up from my avoidant ex 💭
I think some things that my ex said that really affected me was, "you are trying to understand yourself, and you should deal with your emotions yourself," when i tried expressing my needs to him. AnD me expressing my needs to him was "co-dependent" (see slide 8 for actual meaning of codependency) and everyone should be independent and be kept at arms length. Me expressing myself is actually the opposite of codependency. The amount of question marks i had lol, and he called himself a psych student. But yea i read the book to confirm im not being a crazy person to expect closeness and intimacy in relationships. Like its good to be able to process your emotions but its not right for someone to make you feel crazy to have emotions around them alright~ If you ever feel crazy around someone, leave, you are losing yourself.
In summary, most avoidants stay avoidant if they can't see a need to change, because its an ingrained genetic//built in system, where they are wired to be like that, it will be super hard for them to change their beliefs and mindset.
On the dating market, most are avoidants because they move on easier and get out of relationships more often~ so its really a luck game at this point if you are on dating apps! Never take it personally if you meet another avoidant~ things can work, although it takes a lot of effort, they just have a lot of emotions surpressed and can't deal with their own issues, until a life changing event happens to them to make them look at it.
You will never be too much to the right person that's for you.
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At the end of the day, just stay true to yourself alright, whatever makes you happy and fulfilled!
Thank you for reading till here!!
Sending lots of love 💖💖✨️✨️
xoxo,
tiny🐧
Many of us struggle with feeling undeserving or unworthy, especially when life seems overwhelming or when we’re in complicated relationships. From my experience and what I’ve learned, a key to overcoming this is embracing your true self without apology. When you stop people-pleasing and start showing up authentically, you’ll naturally attract people who appreciate the real you and gently let go of those who don’t. Another important insight is that trauma and discomfort are not signs of being broken. They can be part of your growth and transformation. Healing isn’t about fixing yourself, but learning to live with your experiences and embracing the lessons within them. This shift in perspective helped me stop seeing my struggles as defects and start viewing them as part of my unique journey. Also, understanding attachment styles can be eye-opening. I found the book "Attached" by Amir Levine helpful to comprehend avoidant behaviors and secure attachments. It’s normal to want closeness and express your needs—it’s not “codependent.” Recognizing unhealthy patterns helped me protect my emotional well-being and avoid losing myself to relationships where my needs weren’t valued. Finally, remember that the right person will stay without needing constant battles or compromises that take away your happiness. Love is about mutual respect and growth. Till then, fill your own cup. Prioritize your self-love and fulfillment. You are worthy of love, respect, and belonging just as you are.
