Why is it that every time it hurts, we always want to disappear alone?

"Why do we always want to disappear alone?"

.

Someone once said that

"Every time you quarrel with your girlfriend,

I want to lock the door and disappear.

No talking, no answering, no looking at your face. "

And another person said

"I don't like going home at all.

Being alone is much more comfortable. "

If you feel this way

I want to say that you are not strange.

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It's what psychologists call an Emotional Cut-off.

Or emotional dissection

It's a survival mechanism that the brain has learned since childhood.

That when a relationship hurts too much,

Silence and retreat is the safest way.

And that's not wrong.

Because back then, it was probably the best thing it could really do.

.

But the problem is, it doesn't stop in the family.

The brain that learns that silence is safety.

Will apply that behavior to every relationship in life.

Unknowingly.

Arguing with my girlfriend and being quiet for days

Not because of hate

But because the brain is doing what it has been taught to be safe

But the people in front

Instead, it felt abandoned.

And the relationship is broken every time for the same reason.

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Bowen, a psychologist with Family Systems, explains that

Emotional cut-off

Not to grow up, truly independent of family.

It is an illusion of freedom.

Because when we escape trouble,

With the wounds inside yet to be understood.

That original pattern would be packed into a bag.

And carry it to everyone in life without knowing

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So what should we do?

Doesn't mean having to endure a toxic relationship.

Retreating out to keep a safe distance is appropriate.

But there's a difference between

Cutting and creating boundaries.

To cut off is to build a dead wall.

Creating boundaries is to say

"I wish you well.

But I won't allow her to hurt me too much. "

.

And what I want to invite to try

Next time wanting to disappear alone

Ask yourself,

"I'm building boundaries now.

Or are you fleeing from something you haven't faced? "

There is no wrong or correct answer.

Just asking is the beginning of change.

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Thinking questions for today

Time hurts or feels insecure in a relationship.

What do you do first?

# Amis mind tuning area # Mind care # Mind health # EmotionalCutoff # mentalhealth