Surviving DV
Vulnerability
🤍 My Story: (Dec 2022 left me with some pretty deep emotional scars that took me quite awhile to recover from due to domestic violence. I thankfully had a decent support system around me.) After spending almost 1.5years with a man who I thought I could trust, I moved in with him and his family. This situation lead to a series of events that involved my dog being injured severely, me isolating, and my ex attacking me on Christmas Eve. I was thankfully able to leave right away, which is not said for a lot of DV victims unfortunately. Just like in a lot of situations, The justice system didn’t seem to want to hold him accountable properly. I was accused of falsifying bruises, striking him first, and even told “it’s his first offense, it’s not that serious” by the state attorney. Years later I still hold contempt for the #yellowstonecountyDA. I lost everything. Sentimental items, photos, heirlooms, and so much more. I had done the paperwork for him to get the home he bought since he worked so often. I had paid the difference on the negative equity so he could sell his truck to build his credit, I bought groceries for his household, bought gos daughter clothing for school and the harsh Montana winter, and in the end I was accused of not helping financially in spite of all that. Shortly after I left, the woman he’s now married to reached out and I wasn’t able to express all the things that had occurred in the short time I was in Montana, not that she would have listened regardless. It’s a terrible cycle we all experience when leaving. Wanting to warn the next girl, but knowing we’ll be called crazy by him and his family.
🤍 How I Felt: I felt angry, but underneath all of that anger was heartbreak, grief, and an overwhelming sadness that almost overtook everything in me. I got out alive but I had to grieve the life I imagined I’d have with him, our children, our animals. I felt used.
🤍 My Takeaways: I’ve learned to prioritize myself, my stability, my child’s well being and my future before everything else. I’ve learned to not do more work in the relationship than the other party, especially as a woman. Be with a man who loves you more than you love him. So many more things were lessons learned for me and I hope to express this things in the future, but for the moment, I’ll leave things as they are.Billings
Domestic violence is a pervasive issue that affects countless individuals, often leading to emotional and psychological scars long after the physical dangers have passed. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, nearly 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence. Survivors often grapple with feelings of isolation and fear, making it essential to have a robust support system in place. A major obstacle is the perception and treatment survivors face from the justice system, which can often minimize their experiences or place blame on them. This further complicates the healing process. Advocacy and support groups play a vital role in providing the resources necessary for recovery. It is crucial for survivors to prioritize their mental health and seek counseling or therapy, which can assist in unpacking the trauma and moving toward a healthier future. Online resources and communities offer spaces for survivors to share their stories, find solidarity, and draw strength from one another. Knowing they are not alone can empower survivors to reclaim their narratives and build new lives founded on resilience and self-love. Engaging in self-care practices and surrounding oneself with supportive partners can facilitate healing and growth, helping individuals overcome the traumatic aftermath of their experiences.
